Some stealth game concepts that make no sense. Now look we love stealth games it’s personally one of my favorite genres, but sometimes it’s fun to poke. fun at some of the things that are just totally weird and bullshit in these games, that doesn’t make any sense so let’s get started.
one of the most classic issues in stealth games is when two guards are sitting around having a conversation and then you kill one of them and the other one neither just keeps talking or just stands there and then you’re free to just walk up behind him and take him out as well. Suppose you are the guard. your friends right next to you, you were just talking to him and he died right in front of your eyes or maybe right beside your peripheral vision you didn’t notice that you didn’t hear him hit the ground you’re a really terrible guard soldier and an even worse friend.
in so many stealth games you can flatten up against the wall and peek around a corner. now the real question is they don’t see the top of your head poking out from a half wall or they don’t see your knee or your toe popping out from beside a corner of a wall. I guess they’re just not observant enough and they really should be more observant because you know they got what’s coming to them.
Skyrim is guilty of a lot of stealth goofs. one of the most famous, ones is doing anything with arrows. here’s a situation there are two bandits you shoot an arrow through one of their heads and then the other bandit that always says huh must have been the wind. must have been the wind so the wind blew an arrow through your friend’s face and killed him. wow! Tamriel must have some killer winds. Tamriel is all the land that The Elder Scroll series takes place in.
we have an entire squadron of dumb guards. hey, there was a group of five guards that should be on patrol here. they usually pass around in front of us every 40 seconds. for the last hour isn’t it weird that all of a sudden they stopped and they completely disappeared. maybe we should go and look past that corner or maybe call someone. seriously though there’s not a lot of stealth games where guards in certain positions are aware of other guards and where they belong. some games are of course getting much better with that with AI improving.
you all know about it the cardboard box trick. snake is literally my hero snake is who I want to be when I grow up. I think he’s the greatest man in all video games. he’s so cool but that cardboard box trick is bullshit.
we have guards that aren’t very good at investigating things. when you throw a brick at someone and it hits them in their face and then it bounces off and then the guard goes to investigate where the brick landed. well first of all if I got hit in the face of the brick, number one I would go to the hospital but, number two I would try and find who threw the brick because brick isn’t a falling pebble. that is a brick that someone threw why wouldn’t you be a little more alert. this goes for a lot of games even throwing a glass bottle near a guard doesn’t make him freak out and go oh my god somebody threw a glass bottle at me. it’ll just make him a little curious about something going on. if I was guarding an alleyway and somebody threw a glass bottle, I mean I would know shits about to go down look funny.
one of the best stealth game tropes is those guards that don’t really remember things for too long. hey! someone killed this other guard, then they look around for 30 seconds. look they must be gone time to go back to normal. almost every stealth game is guilty of this in some way. of course, Metal Gear Solid did work to improve this in some ways by adding different levels of alert phases that last for a long time but ultimately in most games, if you’re patient enough, most guards will just forget about it in a minute or two and resume their post, even if there are four dead people laying around them. forgetful guards are something that is so common in stealth games that makes no sense, but thanks to AI improvements, it’s starting to disappear.
so, guys, those were some things in stealth games that don’t make any sense but of course, we love stealth games.